Ketchup, mustard, mayo, BBQ sauce, and beyond, condiments are one of the pinnacles of enjoying food. We slather them on hot dogs and burgers, dip our fries and chicken nuggets in them, and even use them to add a kick of heat to everyday lunches. But, when we go to purchase a condiment, what are we considering? Do we pick our go-to just because it’s a popular name brand (like how Pittsburgh is bathed in Heinz Tomato Ketchup)? Do we believe that organic is simply better no matter the condiment? Or, is our purchase based solely on the reaction of, “Oo, that bottle’s the prettiest”? Well, we at TABLE Magazine asked ourselves these same questions and came up with a way to declare the best brands of condiments once and for all… a blind taste test.
We chose some of the top condiment brands that you said were your favorites on social media and put them to the test against one another. Each type of condiment had three different brands delivered in a letter-marked bowl beside a dish of plain water crackers. All of our participants (8 in total) took turns trying each type side by side and marking down the qualities on a rating scale. Some condiments like ketchup had questions about acidity and sweetness while dijon mustard asked about viscosity and pungency. Now, we’ve tallied the results and are ready to bring you the top condiments that you’ll want to stock your kitchens with. And, we have to say, there are some surprises!
Hot Sauce
Top Choice: Binko’s Lucky 32 Red Fresno Pepper Sauce
While a local, small business is bound to have a deeper, more complex flavor than the basics of Cholula Original and Frank’s RedHot, it wasn’t a guarantee going into the tasting. In fact, as our Director of Operations Star Laliberte put it, “I’d use all three of these hot sauces for different things.” Binko’s ended up being an obvious choice for its smokey-sweet taste and higher heat level. But, even though this hot sauce would be great dribbled onto your burger, you’ll probably want to opt for Frank’s RedHot when making a big-batch dip. Then, there’s Cholula, whose milder heat level and consistent flavor profile make it an everyday essential. What we learned about hot sauce is that there is no “bad” hot sauce per se, rather there are different tones of sweetness, acidity, and heat that makes each a contender.
BBQ Sauce
Top Choice: Kraft Original Barbecue Sauce
So, this one was a bit of a shocker to, well, all of us. Never in a million years would we ever have thought to pick Kraft when faced with the other choices of Sweet Baby Ray’s Barbecue Sauce and Jack Daniel’s Original BBQ Sauce. Though after tasting all three for the first time, Publisher Justin Matase did note, “These all taste like brown sugar.” Which he wasn’t wrong about… However, in a blind taste test, Kraft’s tangy base along with a balancing dose of sweetness and a slightly thick viscosity easily out won. Even those who have been die-hard Sweet Baby Ray’s purchasers realized that it carries a harsher taste than the others and maybe they don’t like the brand as much as they had thought.
Mayo
Top Choice: Duke’s Mayonnaise
This one was a little closer than we’d like to admit, especially because the other two brands were Hellmann’s Mayonnaise and Miracle Whip. That’s right, two of our attendees chose Miracle Whip over two real mayonnaise choices. Our own Editor-in-Chief, Keith Recker was one of the culprits, declaring that the lighter texture and nostalgic taste just went better on a cracker than the other two. Matase then bit back stating, “Miracle Whip tastes like supermarket pasta salad.” We pull no punches at TABLE!
The ones who chose Duke’s noted that it had more flavor than the rest but Hellmann’s is a close second with its clean simplicity and neutral flavor.
Yellow Mustard
Top Choice: Heinz Mustard
While Heinz Tomato Ketchup is the royalty of ketchups, no one ever really mentions anything about Heinz Mustard. However, it was nearly a unanimous decision in our office that Heinz Mustard is a go-to. Something about the balance of pungency and tanginess with a thicker consistency makes this brand our favorite. Then there were French’s and Plochman’s which were both just fine. They are what you’d expect in a mustard with a bit of a tart taste but nothing exactly special about them. In fact, this is probably the category we talked about the least because everyone was in agreement.
Dijon Mustard
Top Choice: Grey Poupon Dijon Mustard
The kick of dijon mustard is more of an acquired taste with its blend of acidity, sweetness, and spice. This could be the reason we had mixed results. Some of our attendees preferred a strong dijon mustard like Grey Poupon that hits you with its high content of spices. But, others enjoyed the smoothness of Maille Dijon Original Mustard and the mild pungency of French’s Dijon Mustard. With this condiment, you might just have to conduct your own blind taste test to see what you like best. Is consistency important to you? Or, do you shoot for flavor over texture? There’s only one way to find out: try them all.
Relish
Top Choice: Vlasic Sweet Relish and Divina Hot Giardiniera
For relish, we have two different top picks since Divina’s gourmet Hot Giardiniera is not similar to your regular relish. It’s chunky vegetable texture in a spicy oil makes Divina stand out from the rest. However, when it comes to your basic, essential green relish destined for a hot dog, Vlasic Sweet Relish takes the prize. Even if most of us noted it’s electric, neon green color is very off-putting and makes it seem like you’re putting alien food into your mouth. Its crunchy texture and highly acidic flavor, however, make it a winner, as long as you don’t pay attention to the hue. It’s important to note that our third option, Mt. Olive Sweet Relish, is not a terrible choice in relish. It just can’t compete with Vlasic’s classic taste and Divina’s unique take.
Ketchup
Top Choice: Heinz Tomato Ketchup
You knew it was coming. Even outside of Pittsburgh, Heinz Tomato Ketchup reigns supreme. Its tangy and sweet balance along with a smooth, dare we say perfect, consistency wins every time. Well… almost every time. We actually had two participants who broke the golden rule of Pittsburgh and chose Hunt’s over Heinz. It was even our own Justin Matase and Keith Recker who broke our hearts and thought Hunt’s was better with a broader flavor profile and a better after-taste. At least we can all agree that Primal Kitchen’s Organic Unsweetened Ketchup, our third option, is too chunky to even be considered ketchup and instead belongs with the tomato paste. Though, it does carry the natural flavor of tomatoes if that’s the thing you’re looking for.
Story by Kylie Thomas / Photography by Jeff Swensen
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